Have you ever looked at a friend’s life, perhaps a picture on Instagram, and thought “oh that looks fabulous”? 

I love to see a window into lives that are polarising to my meal-prepped, market-shopping lifestyle. 

But sometimes I tell myself the reasons why someone’s great experience is not applicable to my life. My inner dialogue assumes there’s a different set of rules for them and me. “I could never do that”, or, “that’s easy for him/her to do”?

Why do we pigeonhole ourselves? Why do we think we can’t step outside our lane?

Fear versus courage

It seems to be about our inner dialogue, and whether it’s dominated by fear or courage.

An opportunity to test myself came up recently, and I did something a bit different, something most definitely not in my usual lane! 

I got naked with a bunch of girlfriends. 

I’m not prudish, but nor have I ever really put myself in a position where I’ve embraced my nakedness around other people.

It was simultaneously absolutely wonderful and completely uneventful. It was perfect.

And it reminded me that it’s not as hard as we think to break free from our self-imposed limits. 

Remember that our words count 

I’ve spoken before about the language we use, and why it’s so important in setting the scenes for the stories of our lives. This is often about the use of very specific words, like “should”, “good” and “bad”.

But what about when we flat-out tell ourselves that we can’t do something? The classic example I see in my role is, “I’m bad with money”. So then we read an article about starting to invest ethically, or saving X amount of our incomes, and we think that course of action is not available to us. How’s that for a limiting belief?

I think a lot of it is rooted in how we compare ourselves to others. As in, “Oh it’s easier for her to save/invest/study/switch careers/work out/train for a marathon because she doesn’t have children. She earns more. She doesn’t live by herself. She works for the family business. She’s left-handed.” 

We can all make things happen

I’d like to set the record straight, for you and for me. 

Yes, we all have different circumstances, different drivers and resources. But we also have access to many of the same opportunities. We certainly have access to the same amount of time.

So, for all of you thinking that getting naked is only for the hippies — it’s not.

Or that saving and investing is only for high-earners —  it’s for everyone.

Whether you think you can, or you can’t, either way — you’re right.