My word could be, but probably isn't, my bond

The words that we use and the stories that we tell ourselves make or break our days. 

And our days make up our lives.

I’m fascinated by the language we use, or don’t use, in the conversations we have with others and in our own minds. 

My members know that I’m a stickler for good language, because I truly believe that the words that we use, and repeat, compound over time, for good or for evil.

I believe it stems right from early education. “I hate numbers” leads into “I’m bad at maths” — which is only a very short hop, step and jump from, “I’m bad with money.”

What I tell myself 

As you might imagine, I didn’t identify as being bad with numbers or money when I was young, or now. But I’ve been telling myself for as long as I can remember that I’m not creative. 

“I’m good with numbers, my sister is the creative one,” is the story in my head. And you can imagine that she’s saying the reverse.

In my work I need to navigate across the business, finance and media worlds, working with creatives and non-creatives. So I’m having to put a lot of mental effort into reversing that belief. 

What I hear as a finance coach

I hear the “I’m bad with my money” story all the time. 

For those who identify with this, I want to make a distinction.

Maybe you’ve been bad with your money in the past. Maybe you’ve made poor choices, or avoided decisions. 

But your old ‘money story’ doesn’t have to be your future ‘money story’. However, if you keep telling yourself (and people like me) that you suck at managing money, then that will be your truth going forward.

How our words influence our lives 

There are so many great and ugly examples of how this impact is reinforced in different components of our lives.

When I started drinking flaxseed oil, I thought, “Holy shit this stuff tastes revolting.” I would choke it down each day and wonder if there was any point continuing.

I now have a mantra that I say every time I drink it, which is how grateful I am that a) it’s doing good for my body; b) how fortunate I am that I can afford to spend money on this product; and c) how smart I am to invest in my health. 

Different words lead to, believe me, slightly better taste.

Just stop

What about the word ‘just’?

How often do you find that creeping into your language? How is it impacting your story, and in turn your happiness? 

My least favourite example of this is “just renting”. 

What the fuck? How damaging is it when we say that to ourselves, or others? How do you feel when someone asks if you own a property and you say, “I’m just renting”?

The word “just” is creating a story that renting is inferior to owning, when in fact renting could be just the right financial strategy to support your future goals. 

Take control

Listen to the words you’re using verbally and in your mind. There’s likely to be a lot that aren’t helpful, making it little wonder we can have trouble with choosing an intentional path, and owning our happiness.

We can’t change the words of those around us, but we can take responsibility for our own.

When we choose our words, we choose our reality, and our future.